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About Deviant Member JudeMale/United States Groups :iconbringbacklianharper: BringBackLianHarper
 
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JudeDeluca
Jude
United States
Current Residence: Bronx, NY
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Anime Soundtracks
Favourite style of art: Photorealism, Animation
Favourite cartoon character: Utena, Lightning Lad, Harley Quinn, Oyuki, Priss Asagiri, Batman, Daria, Duela Dent, Sailor Jupiter
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Hi guys. It's been a while since I made a journal entry, but I'd like some advice on how to follow through with something that happened on twitter and has to do with an artist I've known for a couple of years.

There was an artist I met in 2011, and afterwards I tried commissioning them a few times online. I think I started to annoy and nag them when I hadn’t intended to via emails. I even sent them a small digital commission as a birthday gift in May because, well, I was worried since I hadn’t heard from them in a while. The only response I got was that the $10 I sent for two commissions was refunded to my paypal since the artist didn’t have the available time to complete the art. Last week I began adding more people to follow on twitter and out of curiosity I looked up this artist, I shouldn’t have clicked the follow button, but I did. A while later I looked on twitter again, and this artist’s tweets were locked from me. This is why I felt miserable, because I realized I really was bothering this person when I hadn’t meant to. 

This is not the first time this has happened with an artist I followed. It hasn’t happened dozens of times, but it is the second time, and I’ve never stopped feeling guilty for how that first time happened.

I talked about this with my therapist and with a friend of mine online. My therapist suggested maybe this artist only let their friends follow them and considered me more of a business associate, and Brooke suggested some ways I could try to fix this.

I decided to wait a week, and work on an apology explaining my behavior, the reasons behind it, and acknowledge the possibility that communicating with this person may no longer be possible because of how I acted. I sent the email well after midnight on Sunday, and I’ve been waiting, hoping for a reply. In the meantime, I wondered if maybe I really was overthinking this twitter thing and looked at their profile again today, saying their tweets are private and can only be seen by approved followers. I looked at some other people on twitter who also had the lock symbol next to their names and, I decided to take a chance and figured maybe… I clicked follow again, it said pending, and then it said this person’s tweets were blocked to me.

I feel horrible knowing how I’ve acted. Now I’m once again worrying about how I’ve treated everyone else I know online, and all the other artists I know. I, I’ve decided I’m not going to make any more requests for free, or ask for quick head sketches at conventions. I just, I don’t want to alienate any more people. I don’t want to be creepy and stalkier and manipulative with anyone else. And all I keep thinking of is that I just want to fix things between me and this artist.

Fuck.

Some people have suggested waiting for their reply, but I've realized that my emails to this person might be sent directly to spam. I'm going to talk about this again with my therapist tomorrow, and I'm wondering if maybe, after a period, I either contact this person on twitter directly through a message, or wait a few months and contact them through email about commissioning them and offering to pay them extra for my past behavior. I realize there's a good chance I'm simply overreacting. I'm planning on changing my email address because my English professor suggested changing my address to something more professional to put on my resumes.

Have you guys got any advice? I don't want to be a stalker, but at the same time, I don't want to just leave things as they are. I want to make them right if I've hurt this person.

  • Mood: Content

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:icongothicpysi:
gothicpysi Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconfreddy-kun-11:
Freddy-Kun-11 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
Thanks for the watch!
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:iconfreddy-kun-11:
Freddy-Kun-11 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
Thanks for the fave!+fav 
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:iconlenlenlen1:
lenlenlen1 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fave!!
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:iconjudedeluca:
JudeDeluca Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
You're welcome.
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:iconlenlenlen1:
lenlenlen1 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Professional General Artist
:thumbsup:
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:icongreengosselin:
GreenGosselin Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Professional General Artist
As always, thanks for the fav!! :D
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:iconjudedeluca:
JudeDeluca Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
No problem.
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:icongreengosselin:
GreenGosselin Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
Haven't talked to you in a while.  How is everything?
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:iconjudedeluca:
JudeDeluca Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
Well I finished my last college course.
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