Too Many Robins

October 31st, 200X

Halloween Night

Halloween, a time of year sugar rushes and getting the bejezes scared out of you are not only time honored traditions but mandatory regulations.  Across the United States, children and those who remain young at heart are preparing for the spooktastic celebrations that come once a year (at least according to those uptight calendar corporation buttheads) by dressing up as whatever, or whomever, they so please, collect candy, and/or attend parties.

Nearly every home is adorned with jack-o-lanterns, cut outs of witches, ghosts, goblins, and vampires, fake blood is drenched and dried across walls, and adults stand by with heaping helpings of different kinds of candy to tantalize the pallets of the young (the cool ones in any event).

“Hurry up Daddy!”

“I’m coming Lian but these bags are heavy!”

Roy Harper tried to keep up with his young daughter Lian, who was carrying a half-full bag of candy and assorted treats while her father tried to keep up with the two bags she had already filled. It had been a busy night, which her father had been willing to extend a little by using the Titans jet to cross into another time zone. Currently, they were on the west coast and it was 6:34 PM.  Halloween night was just beginning here while for the younger children over on the east coast things were starting to wind down. This was Roy’s way of making up for last year, when a costume party had been cut short by the arrival of Lian’s, we’ll say “estranged” mother and some of her unruly friends.

“I still think I should’ve left these in the jet, hon.”

“Oh no, I’m keeping them where I can see them. The last thing I need to worry about is horny teenagers breaking into the T-Jet and going on a joyride!”

“Lian Harper!” Roy said, aghast as his daughter’s use of language. “You know perfectly well I parked the T-Jet in a secure hanger.”

“Better safe than sorry, daddy.”

“Yeah, lucky for you you’ve got a pack mule for a father.”

DING-DONG

Lian had eagerly rung the bell on the next house on the block while her father waited on the steps below her. It was just her standing on the front porch so she hoped they people inside hadn’t given away all their good treats too soon. The door opened.

“Trick or Treat!”

“Oh, another Robin! That’s a very popular costume tonight. I love your mask.”

Lian beamed as she held her bag open.

“Well, I think we have enough for this eager little birdie.”

“What do you say, Lian?”

“Thank you!”

“Happy Hall-hey, weren’t you just here?” The woman at the door asked Roy.

“Excuse me?” Roy replied, confused.

Both Roy and Lian were wearing variants of the Robin costume. Lian was dressed in a tiny version of the costume worn by the first Robin, Dick Grayson, while Roy was dressed in a version worn by the third, Tim Drake.

“You were here it must’ve been about a half hour ago. You had two little kids with you and I remembered all three of you had Robin costumes on.” The woman mused.

“I don’t think this is the same guy, Carol.” Said the woman, Carol’s, husband, as he appeared behind his wife at the front door. “His hair’s shorter and that’s not the same kind of Robin costume.”

Roy was intrigued by this. Lian was wondering why this was holding up precious candy time.

“Um, these two kids this guy had. What did they look like?”

“It was a boy and girl. The boy had short dark hair and the girl had red hair like her dad, only hers was down to her shoulders.”

NOW Lian’s interest was piqued beyond candy.

…

“Daddydaddydaddydaddycomeoncandycandy-“

“Iris, Iris, IRIS. IRIS!”

“Yes daddy.”

“Slow down, spaz.”

“I’m not a spaz, Jai!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Okay you two. If I hear the spaz argument one more time I’m giving all this candy to an orphan-”

Wally West stopped dead in his tracks as his heart sank down to his stomach. Roy Harper stood there, in his kitchen, with his daughter Lian, arms crossed, with an amused smirk on his face, IN THE EXACT SAME ROBIN COSTUME WALLY WAS WEARING.

NonononononononononononononononononononononooaaaagagggghhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH!

“Wow.” was all Roy could say.

“How did-“ Wally stammered.

“Linda let us in. AND she gave us pictures.”

Roy held up his cell phone to show pictures of Wally and his twin children, Iris and Jai, in different Robin costumes. Wally had no idea how to react to this except he had an undying need to find a deep, black hole and spend the rest of his life in it.

“Hey guys.” Lian said.

“Hi Lian.” Iris replied.

“Hey.” Said her brother Jai.

“Like your Robin costumes. Which ones are you?” Lian asked the West twins.

“I’m Jason Todd.” Jai said.

“And I’m Carrie Kelley.” Iris said.

“Who’s that?” Lian asked.

“I dunno, but she must’ve been a Robin.”

“You guys get anything good?” Lian asked.

“Tons! Wanna trade?” Iris suggested.

“Sure! Daddy can I trade some of my candy with Iris and Jai?”

“Of course, kiddo. Have fun while daddy savors this moment of your Uncle Wally’s humiliation.”

“Okay. Come on guys!”

“Bye Uncle Roy.” The twins waved as they rushed into the living room, living their father alone with his supposed best friend.

Abandoned by my own flesh and blood.

And after a tense moment of silence…

“Wally my man, I don’t know who’ve you been talking to, but imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery.” Roy snarked

“I-I’m not taking this from a guy whose mentor was Batman-lite.”

“He was not!”

“You guys had an Arrow Cave. An ARROW. CAVE. And besides, why should I be more embarrassed? How do you think Dick’s gonna react when he finds out about-”

“Actually, my loving princess and I already ran into winghead a few hours ago and we promptly BURNED him. But tell me something, why’d you pick that Robin costume?”

“No offense to Dick but if I had to dress as Robin I would’ve preferred a costume that had pants.”

“…what was with him and the scaly underoos?”

“I know, right?”