That Ain't Santa

December 19th – Saturn Girl and Dream Girl were preparing for the annual Legion holiday party.
“So we have Chlorophyll Kid growing the mistletoe,” Dream Girl read off the list of preparations on her computerized pad, “White Witch is working on the decorations while Polar Boy does the ice sculptures-“
“And NO alcohol.” Saturn Girl pointed out.
“Why not?” The white-haired Naltorian asked.
“Remember last year?” Saturn Girl sighed.
…
The Christmas party last year, and it seems Jo Nah and Mon-El were getting a little too into their cups. As the two mingled at the open bar…
“I’m just saying, there’s no way anyone could deliver presents that fast.” Jo swished his drink around as he continued the discussion about Santa Claus.
“I completely agree with you.” Mon drunkenly nodded his head.
“I mean sure, not everyone on Earth celebrated Christmas back then, but even then that’s a few million people.” Jo pointed out.
“How would he even afford them all?” Mon reasoned, then went to refill his glass with more booze.
“Not even if he had super speed.” Jo downed the rest of his drink.
“He’d have to carry that huge sack.” Mon agreed.
“You probably couldn’t do it either.” Jo laughed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mon set his drink down with an audible clink.
“Well like I said, even if you had super speed…”
“Oh and you could do it?” Mon felt himself getting mad, his face getting redder.
“No I mean-“
“Because at least I can use my super strength and speed at the same time!” Now Mon was shouting.
“At least I don’t get knocked out by a small piece of lead!” Jo was now shouting too.
And then they were gone in a blink, along with all the gifts for the Legion’s Holiday Elves event.
…
“It was the only party that ended in several home invasions.” Saturn Girl rubbed her temples.
“I’ll get the non-alcoholic kono juice. They’ll never know the difference.” Dream Girl wrote on the pad.